aadler: (MutantEnemy)
[personal profile] aadler
 
Continuing the meme/challenge begun and tracked here.

Fandom Snowflake Challenge, Day 5

In your own space, talk about your fannish origin story. How did you come to fandom, why did you choose your fannish name, do you have more than one secret identity? Leave a comment in this [the assignment] post saying you did it. Include a link to your post if you feel comfortable doing so.


I’ve actually told this one before, so let’s see if I can impart the same information with a bit more content and context.

Journey to Fandom

I was doing fanfic — of a sort — decades before I ever heard the word. It started when I became acquainted with a group of girls in California (I did not live in California) who were enthusiastic Trekkies, and they furthered that acquaintance by sending me a multi-fandom story they’d done that was primarily about them on the Enterprise. I responded with a story of my own, which committed so many writing sins that I’ve never let even my own kids see it (and they’re my most appreciative audience), followed by others that continued to get better. Both the girls’ work and mine were all blithe self-insertion fics; we weren’t embarrassed or self-conscious about that, it was just what we did, it was the game being played. I kept doing such stories, cutting my writing teeth on things I actually enjoyed; surpassed my ‘mentors’ in quality almost immediately, and continued after they’d lost interest and the acquaintance had faded. Then I got busy, then I got married, then I finished college, and then children started to come along …

Fast forward.

In 1997 I was separated from my wife (who would eventually divorce me), living in the international dorm of the college where I had returned for post-baccalaureate work. I was taking full-time classes, working a full-time job and a part-time one, and seeing my kids every other weekend. My time was so limited that I didn’t even watch television anymore; I videotaped shows that might interest me, and watched them when I could. This new show came along, Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I’d seen the movie, felt that it had failed to approach its potential, and suspected the television version might do a better job. It was also something I could share with my kids when they were with me.

We watched it. It was okay. Along with other activities together, we kept watching it as new episodes aired. It got better. Partway through Season 3, an idle online search for “Buffy” gave me results that included the words “fanfiction”, “fan fiction”, and “fanfic”. What was this? I checked one. Huh. I checked another. I started checking more.

I’d had no idea how enormous and dedicated Buffy’s fan community had become. Until I discovered that, I hadn’t even realized how much a fan I had become. I kept reading fanfic, looking for better sites where more and better stories could be found. And then, on one site I’ve never been able to find again, there was this “fanfic contest”, and what passed through my mind were the words that will surely be familiar to many, many other people: Heck, I could write something lots better than some of the stuff I’ve been reading.

One of my jobs then, the full-time one, was as a night security guard. Between rounds, I had plenty of time to myself at the main desk. “Point of Focus” was done in less than three weeks, in my ‘spare’ time. (Ironically, it wasn’t eligible for the fic contest, because that had a 10,000-word limit and PoF ran nearly 13,000.) That had been enough fun that, shortly thereafter, I decided to try another one. Then that second story gave me an idea for yet a third, and it just kept snowballing from there.

Fannish Name

While I wrote, I continued to read. Till then, my fanfic output had been purely for my own entertainment (which included sharing these stories with my kids). By the time I’d done three fics, however, I began to consider putting them up for assessment by a wider audience. Though my tastes were wide-ranging, I spent most of my time working through the massive collection of stories at the Slayer’s Fanfic Archive (now, sadly, defunct). Before I ‘published’ anything, I wanted to have at least four stories, so that I’d be someone who did Buffy stories, not someone who’d done a few —

(Yeah. Fifteen years later, with sixty-plus Buffyverse stories posted and a smattering in other fandoms, that seems more than a little funny to me.)

— so while I planned and then began that fourth story, I started thinking of what pseudonym I would use. Since I was still working my way through the SFA in alphabetical order by author, I decided that I wanted to be at or near the beginning for anyone else who took that approach; hence, a name that started with a double-A.

No other aliases, no. Except, maybe, sorta-but-not-exactly …

I was aware from the beginning that Buffy fandom was predominantly female, as in enormously female, as in anywhere from 95 to 99%. Not a problem, but at the same time I didn’t want gender to be part of my fannish identity, I intended to deal with people purely on the basis of my fic. When people saw ‘Aadler’, though, they seemed automatically to presume male. I tried to modify that, with ‘Alex Aadler’, but though the name itself was ambiguous, people still seemed to see male as the default assumption. I tickled it a bit more, and it became ‘Alix Aadler’ … but that was a little too far, then everyone assumed female. (Not at all surprising, really. Has any male ever called himself Alix?) I wasn’t trying to ‘cross-dress’, honestly, my desire had been to be genderless on the Web, but after that I just let it lie, figuring I’d never actually deal with any of these folks IRL anyhow. Once I signed up to attend the first WriterCon in 2004, though, I went back in and changed everything back to plain Aadler, and that’s how it’s been ever since.

Why Buffy?

It just happened that way. As I said, I’d done semi-‘fanfic’ long before there was a BtVS, and I’ve watched/read and enjoyed other fandoms, read fanfic in them and even written a bit here and there. Buffy is the only one that seized me, though. Even when I really liked something else, it didn’t have the same effect, I didn’t have stories coming to me in that fandom that so badly wanted to be told. (It might have been different if I had come upon Smallville the same way I did Buffy, without Buffy having already claimed my devotion. Probably not, though; the Clark/Lex slash was so overpowering, practically from the beginning, that I never could have been at home there.)

I’m increasingly aware that this may not last much longer for me. I’m not that far away from retirement, I’m expecting my first grandchildren soon, and I’m still cranking out stories from a fandom that started eighteen years ago, ended (with the last episode of Angel) over ten years ago, and — sorry, Season 8-9-10 comics, I tried but it was never there for me — hasn’t produced anything new in the interim. I need to be devoting myself to something else.

I’m just not done yet. The other day I mentioned fifty story ideas, and at least twenty of them have to be told. So it’ll be a while yet.

Just a little while, yet.

Date: 2015-01-06 06:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] velvetwhip.livejournal.com
Your writing style is rather masculine, so I think that's why people default to male with you. Whereas, even were I to call myself Dirk Diggler, I am reasonably sure no one reading my work would ever presume me to be anything but female.

I am glad to hear you have more stories to give us, because you are talented as heck and have a unique vision. I am most certainly a fan!


Gabrielle

Date: 2015-01-07 12:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] slaymesoftly.livejournal.com
Heck, I could write something lots better than some of the stuff I’ve been reading. I wonder how many of us began with that somewhat sad realization? Nice to know I'm not the only one around who got sucked in by the Buffyverse and isn't particularly interested in going anywhere else. Although I wish I had twenty ideas left!

The first fic of yours I read (Cordelia-centric AU) I spent a lot of time wondering about your name. I don't think it did occur to me that you might be a man, though. I just thought you knew a lot about weapons and cars. :)

Date: 2015-01-07 02:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] slaymesoftly.livejournal.com
Maybe I'm misremembering - it was a long time ago. I thought there was some action involving motorcycles and cars and a garage? But like I said, it was a long time ago and I could be confusing it with some other Cordelia-centric fic.

Date: 2015-01-07 05:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] slaymesoftly.livejournal.com
Glass Ceiling is definitely the one I was thinking of, so obviously I confused it with another one by you. On the other hand, the fact that I can remember the title (can't even remember my own sometimes) indicates how much of an impression it made on me. May have been the first time I realized that Cordelia was a character capable of carrying a story by herself. Job well done!

Date: 2015-01-07 07:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] slaymesoftly.livejournal.com
Not off the top of my head, but I'll bet if you just asked, someone would volunteer one.

Date: 2015-01-09 02:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rebcake.livejournal.com
My only Cordy icon. It's by [livejournal.com profile] nikkiwawa79. Not appropriate for all uses, but I like it anyway.