Moo

[aadler]

 
So, I haven’t made an actual entry in nearly a month. Not deliberate, that’s just how things shook out.

When I got back to my home state, following out-processing through Fort Benning, my stepsister picked me up at the airport, with her three-week-old newborn. Cute kid, and not a bit cranky. (She cashed out an IRA so she could take an extended maternity leave, but she’ll be going back to work in another week or so. Come that time, it will be interesting to see how well she deals with life as a single mother.) The damage to my car turned out to be much less than I had expected; it certainly doesn’t look as nice as it used to, but only a few hours and $200 were needed to get it roadworthy again.

As a result, two days after my arrival, I made the drive to center-state to visit with my son and ex-wife. And I’ve been here ever since.

In one way, I haven’t accomplished much. No writing, no LJ entries, nothing to catch up with my own business. In another way, I’ve stayed busy. I cook most of the meals, do most of the shopping and most of the dishes. I rented a storage locker, and have helped Susan pack away and store dozens of boxes. She’d gotten overwhelmed with possessions: too much stuff, too little living space, not enough room even to sort things out or to put them after sorting. With every box, both space and working capacity increase. Once she has her home back in order, we can begin to reverse the process: bring back a box or two every day, sort through the contents, keep some things but turn most over to Goodwill.

Susan herself had retreated somewhat from marriage plans. Not a move from “yes” to “no”, more a shift from “probably” to “let’s not rush things”. I didn’t push the issue, for two reasons. First, I’ve been making my own efforts to assess the situation, to ensure we’re not setting up to repeat old mistakes. Second, I didn’t want this to go forward unless she believed in it.

After nearly a month, though, it occurred to me that Susan was accruing all the benefits of marriage — help, support, attention, transportation, financial backstop, housework, meal preparation, dog-walking — without the inconvenience of being committed to anything. (No sex in the equation, but after two kids and twenty-five years, she thinks of no-sex as another plus.) So I said, in a tone that fortunately was ruefully amused rather than accusatory, “You know that saying, ‘Why buy the cow if you’re getting the milk free?’ Well, I just realized: I’m the cow.”

She laughed; I didn’t even have to explain what I meant by it.

And today, we picked out rings.

So, I guess this is going to happen.

Comments

[texanfan.livejournal.com]

I wish you success and much happiness.