Events of my Labor Day weekend

[aadler]

 
I had a Friday afternoon appointment for a CT scan at the VA, so by the time I got back — and Susan was caught up on sleep following a long night-to-morning shift — it was a bit late for us to be making the long drive to center-state. Our weekend didn’t really begin till the following day, then, and proceeded thus:

First Cut — Saturday

We made the drive in the morning, and after our arrival, Susan and I went out with our son to the ranch that houses the injured horse she adopted. The outing didn’t go very well. We had to pass through two different pastures with two different gates to reach the area where the horse was kept, and on the way back Susan got overheated and couldn’t continue. I had to use her cell phone to call the ranch manager and have him come get her in his pickup, and she never did recover to the point where she could do more than sit in front of a big fan and talk to the horse and stroke him. (When she was done, I and our son took the horse back to his designated area.)

There are several different possible causes of this disability. The heat was obviously a significant factor … but it wasn’t that hot, and we were moving slowly, and nobody except her was so strongly affected as to be unable to stand without getting dizzy. Sarcoidosis unquestionably figures into it, but her latest scans showed improvement. Added weight — from the prednisone — surely contributed, but she manages to get through four ten-hour work shifts every week, weight or no. Finally, she’s been on the Medi-Fast diet for the past week, which may have worked along with other factors; still, it hit her quick and without warning, and it took almost 24 hours for her to (mostly) recover.

I worried about her for years before we remarried. These developments don’t move me to worry any less. I’m particularly concerned with how she’s going to deal during the year I’m gone to Iraq.

Close First Cut

Second Cut — Sunday

When she was feeling better (Sunday), we went to visit her parents, where we were hit by another bolt from nowhere: they’re investigating the possibility of going into a residential care facility. Voluntarily. No decisions made yet, but that they’re checking it at all is a major shift in attitude. Susan’s mother is past eighty and has been in declining health for a long time (we moved here from Memphis fifteen years ago to be closer to her), and the main question that has faced us has been, How serious does it have to get before we’re called on — and able — to overrule their preferences and establish some kind of custodial care? Now it would seem that they’re ready to address that decision themselves.

Plus, though they set up a reverse mortgage on their home a number of years ago to fund their retirement, with the consequence that the bank owns the house now, we may be able to get financing (through a VA loan, taking advantage of my veteran status) to buy it ourselves. A nice house in a growth market: a thoroughly decent place to retire ourselves, should that be the direction we want to go, or a solid investment, or even perhaps something to leave our kids rather than use ourselves.

Close Second Cut

Third Cut — Monday

Today (Monday), Susan finally got a call-back from our daughter. Pleasant conversation, until it reached the point where Susan asked for a commitment: I’m going to Iraq next year (for a year) at just about the time our daughter’s current commitment to her drama ministry will expire. She left four years ago for a two-year tour, and we’re talking about the end of her fifth year with the group, and we need her to stay home for awhile. We said this … and she wouldn’t commit, she gave us the I can’t make any promises statement that has always presaged her making another year’s promise to the people who aren’t us. Susan and I both got angry; I said something brief and biting and then left the room, and a minute or so later Susan simply hung up.

We need her, damn it. We’ve been saying it for a long time, and now the need is becoming urgent, and still she sees it (apparently) as an imposition. We’re not going to reject her for that, but she may have to accustom herself to our seeing her as having rejected us.

Close Third Cut

We drove back in the early afternoon, and now we’re making ready to meet the coming week. A very short week, for me: this month’s Reserve drill is another of the three-day variety, Friday through Sunday, meaning I have three days before time to report. (Feels like I just got out of uniform. Oh, wait, I did just get out of uniform.)

More to come.