“So Sad the Song”, End notes

[aadler]

[ Endnotes posted 03 Dec 2025 ]

Where did the idea for the story come from?

It was the next-to-last segment (numbered at ‘xv’) of my previous fic, “Echoes from the Battleground”, that first posited Cordelia having started out with Xander in his ‘summer on the road’ of 1999. With that as background, I intended to turn out a five-drabble fic touching on some aspects of that trip. It got bigger, as these things sometimes do.

Is there any particular significance to the title?

Quoted within the story, obviously, and to my mind it fit the situation. It didn’t seem to need any more than that.

What is the thing I like most about this story? the thing I like least, or about which I feel most doubtful?

Liked most: I liked my depiction of the dynamic between Xander and Cordelia, particularly the never-seen-in-canon interaction of two people who could share sexual intimacy while — by Cordelia’s iron will — never letting any other kind of intimacy develop. They loved each other … but she could never trust him again, and he wouldn’t risk another betrayal by pushing for something she wasn’t willing to give.

Liked least: All that sex. Yes, I wrote it, and it really did seem to be the way these two would go about such an undertaking (as already shown by Cordelia’s declaration from “Echoes from the Battleground”), but I always uneasily wondered if I was layering on that part of it a little too heavily.

Is there anything I think I could have done better, or might do differently if I had it to do over?

In the form I did it, I don’t think I could have done it any better. A larger story could have been written, though, Xander and Cordelia going through some set of events that had to be worked through, with the very same issues from THIS narrative being background and framing for the other. And now I’m a little sorry I didn’t go that way.

Do I have any plans to follow up on this story, or to use the character(s) or situation in a subsequent fic?

Since I’ve already noted that this fic derived from “Echoes from the Battleground”, and Xander was sans Cordelia when we saw him in my “Whisper of a Moment” — set later that summer — I don’t foresee any further use being made of this particular setup.

But, oh, there were other links.

Tana, mentioned here, first appeared in “Come to My Window”, and was subsequently referenced, described, or shown in “… Than Meets the Eye”, “Queen’s Gambit”, and (yes, again) “Echoes from the Battleground”. The Guzman twins, mentioned here, were also referenced in “Beg to Differ” and “Otherwise a Perfect Sky”. The Tchurisch demon was described in “the Other Night I Dreamt of Knives”. And Xander’s Gremlin, shown here, was not only introduced in “Echoes from the Battleground” but mentioned in “Rough Trade”.

Any observations to add at the end?

Not about the story itself, exactly … but in a way, about the story. Like so many people, I felt offended and cheated by the treatment of Cordelia in the last two seasons of Angel. This fic was part of my own memory of — and respect for — what this extravagant character used to be. Sorry she’s gone, but she can still continue in fanfic. This is one. I may do more.