Back in the game

[aadler]

 
Okay. Back now.

Open first cut — General issues

I went through a long period during which I read plenty — LJ and elsewhere — but didn’t seem to have any desire to write. That included fic work, but LJ entries also suffered (as in, there essentially weren’t any). This was accompanied by an inertia in all the other areas of my life: paying bills, doing language study, maintaining an exercise routine … heck, I’d go days without bothering to shave.

There’s a definite tendency in my family toward depression, though I’d have to say I was the one touched most lightly. In this particular instance, however, I think the culprit may have been Seasonal Affective Disorder; as the days got shorter, my energy and initiative just drained away. I didn’t feel bad, I just never felt like doing anything except sit in front of a computer (passive browsing) or a television.

It was something external that snapped me out. I got a call from the training NCO of my unit, wanting to schedule a new APFT for me so I’d be ready for the next promotion board that popped up. We agreed that I’d call him next week to set up a time, and then I jumped back into my home exercise program. It’s incredible what a mood-boost can come from just getting your blood moving a couple of times a day. Susan and I also started a new diet regimen — we’d been setting up to do that anyhow — with the result that I’ve dropped two pounds already and she’s lost seven.

Close cut

Open second cut — Fic-writing issues

The change had an effect on my writing, also: yesterday I zipped out 1,200 words on “Queen’s Gambit”, the current draft of which is now 420 words short of being the longest fic I’ve ever done. I’m still short of finishing it (maybe another 5,000 words, probably more), but at least I’m in motion again, and I honestly expect that the portion of the story that remains won’t be as hard for me as the parts I’ve done already. I’ve been predicting it for much too long now, and missing one deadline after another, but I think I can finish the draft on this by the end of the month. Followed, of course, by the inevitable editing and rewrite.

Does this mean I’ll be looking now to fulfill last year’s (failed) resolution to turn out a dozen new fics, one for each month? Unlikely, but I should certainly be able to improve on last year’s dismal performance. Even if the two stories got one award and at least two more nominations, it’s still only two stories.

Close cut

Open third cut — Military issues

One of the senior people in my unit went to Fort Bragg last week for a medical review, attempting to get himself okayed for deployment status. Instead, he was found to be sufficiently afflicted (bone degeneration, I think, I heard about it secondhand) that it looks as if he’ll have to take retirement. I had hoped strongly that he would pass the medical review, not only because he’s a really solid guy that I would look forward to serving with and learning from, but also because his intended replacement — a man a dozen years younger than me — has been determined to be in even worse shape, and has likewise been invalidated from deploying.

Guess — just try to guess — who is now the ranking member of my detachment? Who would, in fact, be tasked with running it if we deployed tomorrow?

The situation can’t be allowed to stay that way, of course. The company will fill out its roster with augmentees from other units, and someone else will be put in charge of my detachment. I’ll still be carrying a lot of responsibility, however … which explains why my superiors want so much to get me promoted before it’s time for us to ship out.

Close cut

Open third cut — Family issues

Susan and I are supposed to go to an Army-sponsored marriage workshop in San Antonio in February. Setting up the travel paperwork for that is another thing I need to see to in the next day or so.

My daughter sroni is back with Covenant Players, looking to finish out the obligation that would have concluded before Christmas if I hadn’t had to pull her out sick in September. According to the schedule as we know it, I’ll certainly be under mobilization orders, and possibly already in Iraq, before she finishes and comes home. The plan is that she’ll help her mother during the year that I’m away, and get a few things in her own life (GED, driver’s license, completion of her entry into the Catholic Church) taken care of as well.

My son will be checking next week about the status of the associate’s degree that he should have finished this past semester by successfully completing the last required math course. Assuming everything is in order, he’ll pick up his diploma and then see to transferring the hours over to the university he’s currently attending, to satisfy the basic-ed requirements for the bachelor’s degree he’s pursuing there. He’s signed up for 18 hours this semester; I think that’s a bit much, but he’s been doing this for long enough to have a decent idea of his own capabilities. If he’s able to carry those classes, and is right about the university’s overall requirements, he may be able to graduate as early as December.

Susan’s next doctoral semester starts Monday, and she’s doing prep work already. She lived on the laptop last semester, so I’ll have to prepare myself to live with that for another few months. As with so many other things, she’ll finish the program (Inshallah) while I’m away. I guess she has to; our marriage just doesn’t feel normal unless her education is at least one level higher than mine.

On the other hand, I get to do more cool stuff. At least, every other year I do.

Close cut

So that’s it. Things to take care of before Susan has to start getting ready for tonight’s shift.

Comments

[ozma914.livejournal.com]

That does sound a lot like Seasonal Affected Disorder ... well, it sounds a lot like *me*, and I have it.

I'm glad you got snapped out of it a bit though, and you're right -- getting the blood flowing does wonders, as does getting hit with some challenges.

[aadler]

The main thing is just dealing with it. By all accounts, Churchill suffered from periodic bouts of severe depression his entire life; he didn’t let them prevent him from doing what needed doing. He accomplished more with greater obstacles, so surely I (with enormously lesser obstacles) can do better than I’ve been doing.

[ozma914.livejournal.com]

Don't forget Abraham Lincoln, who is now also believed to have suffered severe depression. We're in good company!

Actually, I had a bit of a hard weekend, probably due to the nasty weather and the equally nasty forecast, but I'm still kicking.

[texanfan.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you're feeling more engaged. This time of year is tough. I find myself prone to hibernating if I let myself. At least we're on the upswing now. I'm also glad sroni feels well enough to rejoin her team. It sounds like things are moving along in your household.

There is always the chance they will simply promote you into the position you find yourself in. I don't think that would be a bad thing.

[aadler]

There is always the chance they will simply promote you into the position you find yourself in. I don’t think that would be a bad thing.

Yes and no. I absolutely will be at least a team leader (unless my qualifications do what they’ve done three times already, which is to put me at the bottom tier of a higher level). ‘Detachment’, however, is what we say instead of ‘platoon’, because due to organizational structures we don’t technically have platoons; and I would certainly want a platoon leader with more experience and ability that I possess.

[trinfaneb.livejournal.com]

I know how you feel. I just broke out of a two week hibernation :)

[aadler]

Oh, yeah. ’Tis the season.