The basic situation resonated with me both because of experiences of my own and from hundreds or even thousands of similar situations seen in various forms of fiction: saying one thing, wanting something else, and getting tangled up in the impossibility of reconciling the two because we can’t read minds, and even if we do the ‘wrong’ thing, it may be for unimagined reasons.
Is Xander actually happy having occasional sexual access to his dream girl with nothing deeper going on? Is he taking the most she’s willing to offer, hiding his dissatisfaction because at least this way he has something? Is he devoting himself to making love to her whenever he can in the hopes that it might lead to her loving him? We don’t know; we can’t know. (Well, WE can, if we could see into his mind the way I let us see into Buffy’s, but actual people in actual relationships don’t have the advantage of authorial omniscience.)
Communication is important. Honesty is important. Buffy wasn’t honest with Xander, and the cost went beyond anything she could have anticipated.
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Date: 2016-12-31 07:12 pm (UTC)Is Xander actually happy having occasional sexual access to his dream girl with nothing deeper going on? Is he taking the most she’s willing to offer, hiding his dissatisfaction because at least this way he has something? Is he devoting himself to making love to her whenever he can in the hopes that it might lead to her loving him? We don’t know; we can’t know. (Well, WE can, if we could see into his mind the way I let us see into Buffy’s, but actual people in actual relationships don’t have the advantage of authorial omniscience.)
Communication is important. Honesty is important. Buffy wasn’t honest with Xander, and the cost went beyond anything she could have anticipated.