Maybe a little “Uh-oh”

[aadler]

 
I talked some with Susan this weekend, using one of the 9¢-a-minute phone cards available here. A few issues crept in, small things that may come to assume greater prominence.

The first one, I introduced myself. It had to with my schedule following this duty assignment. My home unit is supposed to return to Iraq in 2008, and I’m not currently on the battle roster for that; in fact, I probably would have to volunteer in order to be allowed to go (as I effectively did for our first Iraq rotation, and officially did for Afghanistan). I had assumed that I would so volunteer, and that’s still my inclination.

The problem is that I don’t have any solid dates. If we were to officially come under orders some time in January, ship to a U.S. installation for processing and supply and recertification, and arrive in-theater sometime in mid-February or early March, that would be one thing. On the other hand, it’s entirely possible that the unit could officially go on orders by the beginning of this November, to then be flown out of the country right after New Year’s. That’s a different matter entirely; it would wipe out the window during which I had planned to, you know, get married, and I really don’t want to go to another combat theater until Susan is officially my wife again.

Perhaps in response to that, perhaps deriving from a separate train of thought, Susan observed that the longer she spends with me away, the more she comes to wonder if it might not be a better idea to wait until I complete my military career before we look to remarry.

This isn’t exactly a blow, but it definitely requires at least a pause for reflection. I did a six-year reenlistment only last year; a little over five years remain, and I might — just might — want to stay in another few years after that. Heck, the age restrictions have finally been modified to the point where I could transfer to the active-duty Army if I want, and I’ve been meaning to find out more about what that would entail and how it would affect me. The thought of waiting another five to eight years, before Susan and I can settle the state of things between us, does not fill me with enthusiasm.

She wasn’t announcing a decision. She was letting me know where her thoughts might be trending. We can talk more about it, and I’ll be home (probably) within four months, which will give us a chance to work out some things in person, rather than long-distance.

Still a lot to think about, though.

Comments

[texanfan.livejournal.com]

I can understand her position. Being seperated for so long at a time would not be my preference for married life. Sounds like you both have some difficult discussions ahead about priorities and what you each want and expect from one another. Sounds like a matter for some heavy duty prayer and, absolutely, face to face conversation.

I'll be praying for you both.

[aadler]

I don’t know if the discussions will be difficult. As I said, she didn’t announce any decisions, just a thought that’s been growing. Nor will I be trying too hard to change her mind, if she truly does feel that this isn’t the right time; I talked her into our first marriage when she had significant reservations (and we were, in retrospect, truly not ready), with disastrous results. I have no desire to repeat earlier mistakes, so it will be a matter of ongoing consideration, give-and-take, with a choice coming at the end.

It bothers me a little, but only a little. We really are in a good place with one another right now, and preserving that is the first priority. Seeing what else we can do with it, that will be determined as we go.