“I did think Harmony’s voice was a little off in the beginning, but as the story went on she really came to life (so to speak).” You’re not the first person to say that. I re-read the whole story just yesterday, and I STILL don’t have any ideas about what to do about the voice in those first chapters. That apparently is my own blind spot; I just can’t see any false notes, so I have no way to improve them.
“And I love her idea of a happy ending — two great meals, a wad of cash, and the satisfaction of a job well done.” The funny (and sad) part is that she really DID think she’d done a good job, and behaved the way a hero should.
“And it’s cracking me up to think of the real Buffy passing through town someday to learn that she has a reputation there as the ‘biggest slut in Southern California.’ Hee!” Since Andy was the one who heard the line, and Andy’s no longer in the picture, that would reduce the odds. But I wouldn’t put it past Dustin to spread (highly revised) stories.
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“And I love her idea of a happy ending — two great meals, a wad of cash, and the satisfaction of a job well done.” The funny (and sad) part is that she really DID think she’d done a good job, and behaved the way a hero should.
“And it’s cracking me up to think of the real Buffy passing through town someday to learn that she has a reputation there as the ‘biggest slut in Southern California.’ Hee!” Since Andy was the one who heard the line, and Andy’s no longer in the picture, that would reduce the odds. But I wouldn’t put it past Dustin to spread (highly revised) stories.